Thursday, January 29, 2015

September 12, 2001

Last year, The Dance Company's recital theme was Heroes. The dances reflected all kinds of heroes, and even the Dads got in on it.

In the evening show, the Company dancers did two back-to-back pieces: September 11, 2001 and September 12, 2001, that were very affecting. I still haven't found the music for the first one, but the second was Coldplay, "Fix You."

The September 12 choreography, reflected how people came together, to look out for each other. When "how are you doing?" was a standard greeting, and people understood if we weren't always at our best and happiest all the time. That there are some things so awful, that even professionals cry.

In fact, even the actions that we consider "professional" or not, often get tied up in toxic masculinity, in the idea that showing emotion is weakness. It seems ironic, to me, that I was raised in toxic masculinity, while my husband was taught "It's Alright to Cry." Or perhaps that's simply why I love him. I didn't grow up feminist, I married into feminism.

Grief can be a funny thing, in the way that events flow together, and become cross-associated. It's never "over and done," it takes time to ease. Two weeks after 9/11/01, one of my coworkers had an accident at home, and died. Just over a year after that...

...This is Remembrance Week. The anniversary of Apollo 1 on Tuesday, Challenger on Wednesday, and Columbia this coming Sunday. It's the first Remembrance Week in a long time, that I'm not surrounded by people who remember, and care.

I'm trying not to dwell on it. Focus on my Advanced C++ course, on getting Ubuntu reloaded on my laptop, on looking into writing a driver to use the Mindstorms tower with this computer. In this first week, establish the support systems (St. Joseph the Worker Job Networking Club) and routines (group fitness classes at the Y, study time, job search time, family time, carry on our evening events) that will get us through. We are stronger together.