Realities of Pregnancy

Content Warning: Pregnancy Loss.

Many of the discussions about Planned Parenthood and abortion, often reveal ignorance of the #RealitiesOfPregnancy (Hashtag courtesy of Sarah Tuttle, @niais , from July). As Slate writes, "Childbirth is also gross and scary."

Part of the issue, is probably the lack of awareness of just how scary and dangerous pregnancy and childbirth can be. October is Infant & Pregnancy Loss Awareness month, so here are a few facts about that:

The #RealitiesOfPregnancy are that over 50% of fertilized eggs never implant.

• Zygotes Lost With Birth Control v. Without Birth Control
• Which cites: New study establishes when pregnancy starts

The ‪#‎RealitiesOfPregnancy‬ are that 15-20% (up to 1 in 5) of women who know that they are pregnant, will miscarry (lose the pregnancy before 20 weeks gestation).

• People Have Misconceptions About Miscarriage, And That Can Hurt

The #RealitiesOfPregnancy are that natural pregnancy loss is common. And needs to be discussed more.

• U.S. Stillbirths Still Prevalent, Often Unexplained

The #RealitiesOfPregnancy are that the distinction between a spontaneous abortion (miscarriage) and an induced one is most clear in medical settings.

• Doctors Say Abortion Video Referenced by Carly Fiorina Probably Doesn't Show an Abortion
• Specifically, this post by an M.D.: Center for Bio-Ethical Reform promotes illegally taped video of perineum and premature delivery
• Way to violate a grieving woman's privacy, abortion foes.

The #RealitiesOfPregnancy are that abortion can be therapeutic in many circumstances. Like an ectopic pregnancy: "watchful waiting" only works for a few weeks, before the risk of rupture. Pre-existing conditions that make pregnancy dangerous. Or complications can develop that can only be solved by delivery.

For many healthy pregnancies, the ~20 week visit is the first ultrasound. That's also when many parts are developed enough to examine. The #RealitiesOfPregnancy are that sometimes, development goes wrong, and not all fetuses are viable.

• Why I had an abortion after 20 weeks
• The real life mermaids
• Neural Tube Defects (see the sidebar for more information on other defects, and their prognoses. Many are treatable, although some require surgery either before or after birth. Some, however, are fatal.)
• Baby’s Tumor Means Surgery Before Birth

Now - none of that is, or should be, an automatic answer. What it means, though, is that I oppose a 20-week abortion ban, because proper due diligence would allow these women facing these heartbreaking scenarios to get a second opinion, to take time to do their research and prayers about what their particular situation would mean for their potential child.

Because not all of these anomalies are fatal. Because there is a wide range of in-betweens where the choices are not obvious. Because with the proper second or third opinions, with the proper connections to afford treatment, with the proper community support, many of these in-between scenarios could be carried to Life. You don't want anyone making an impulsive, sudden decision to beat the deadline, do you?

• How the Pro-Choice Movement Excludes People With Disabilities

And the #RealitiesOfPregnancy are that childbirth itself can be deadly to mothers.

Exceptionally deadly: Death from childbirth is unusually common in America

One of my ongoing themes in this blog, is the issue of healthy relationships. I continue to emphasize that, because there are so many unhealthy relationship models in this world. Unhealthy relationships are held up as examples in Hollywood, in books, in news articles. The #RealitiesOfPregnancy are that it is not always a woman's choice. Pregnancy makes a woman vulnerable, and abusers use that vulnerability.

The #RealitiesOfPregnancy are that women who seek out abortion are often not who you think they are.

• The Demographics of Abortion: It's Not What You Think

And the #RealitiesOfPregnancy are that carrying to term is more dangerous than having an abortion. Particularly for women who are turned away.

• What Happens to Women Who Are Denied Abortions?
• Why Being a Poor Kid in America Is Particularly Awful
• Who is Really on Food Stamps?

The preponderance of evidence has led me to stand with Planned Parenthood, for their cancer screening, their sexual health education, for their contraceptions, prenatal care, and abortions.

If you want to end abortion? Making it illegal doesn't work. This Salon article lists tactics that could cut the number of abortions by 90%.