Parenting, Discipline, and Authority

This is the fourth post in my series on Biblical patriarchy. It has been on the back burner for a while, but recent events have brought it back to my mind again. I'll start with this meme, which has been circulating on Facebook. (I don't know who created the image.):

In Biblical households, this concept of respect is given additional emphasis, because one of the 10 Commandments is to "Honor thy father and thy mother." (Whether this is the 4th or 5th Commandment, depends on whether you use the Jewish, Catholic, or Protestant enumeration.)

Parenting, Property, and Healthy Relationships

The article that inspired the previous two posts, had to do with a YouTube video, Dad forces son to destroy Xbox.

I've posted previously about power dynamics, and included links to resources about abusive vs. healthy relationships.

In the online discussion, some of the women argued that the Xbox was the father's personal property, and he could do whatever he wanted with it. To which my (and other women's) response was that the *father* could sell it, trade it, give it away - but smashing a working device is violence. And forcing his child to smash a beloved toy, is emotional abuse.

The women promoting doing anything they wanted with private property then suggested that if violence to objects was off-limits, then that could extend to policing what other people ate. That would be why I started this series with the concept of body autonomy, and some of the rights / limitations involved there.

When I first conceived of this post, I thought I'd then get into the concept of the patriarchy. My own father argued for the applicability of the ancient Roman pater familias.

But in the meantime, Dr. John Johnson (@astrojohnjohn on Twitter, I've also previously linked to his blog) made a comment that reminded me, intersectionality addresses not simply "the patriarchy," but the kyriarchy.

SFF and Parenting

This is, in part, an Agents of Shield reaction post to the Season 2 finale, "S.O.S. part 2." If you desire to be completely spoiler-free, you might wish to watch that first. That said, I don't intend to discuss Agents of SHIELD itself, it's more my own thoughts, influenced by the show, that build on my recent blogposts and other articles I've read and topics I want to write about.

Anne McCaffrey has a series of books about Talented people, telepaths, telekinetics, empaths, healers, etc. There's two major eras in the series. The first era is early in Talent history, with Get Off the Unicorn, To Ride Pegasus, Pegasus in Flight, and Pegasus in Space, as Talents are discovered, organized, and trained.

Parent's Censorship of Media: Time and Content

My mother-in-law pointed me to this article about children and media consumption (TV, video, video games, internet, etc.).  This article talks about the Sesame Street argument, that it's not purely the amount of time that children spend on media, but also the type and quality of the content that matters.

Basically, media teach us about behaviors.  Media like Sesame Street, Mr. Roger's Neighborhood, Blues Clues, can teach cooperation and positive social behaviors.  Violent media (the article mentions Power Rangers) can teach violent behaviors.

When my son was two, we were visiting the Children's Museum of Indianapolis Dinosaur exhibit.  There was a table with dinosaurs on it.  My son played with the dinosaur calmly, exploring & eating.  A nearby boy had a dinosaur in each hand, crashing into each other and fighting.

Beyond that, the article reminded me that I had been wanting to discuss some differences between my parent's and my censoring of our children's media.

A few examples: 

Follow Friday: PhD in Parenting

It was my friend Amy over at PrettyBabies who first introduced me to the PhD in Parenting blog.  Annie, the blogger at PhD in Parenting, was one of the first Work Outside the Home Mothers (WOHM) that I encountered over the internet.  Not only did she WOHM, her husband is a Stay At Home Dad (SAHD), as my husband was when I first started reading her blog.

Kids and opportunities

Some good things and some sad things today.
Good news: I'm officially re-admitted to Purdue's Graduate School through their Professional Education / distance learning program.  Once I get the log in information, I can submit my Plan of Study, and the other next steps towards registering for classes.

Sad news: Sally Ride passed away today, of pancreatic cancer.  It should come as no surprise to anyone who's been following my blog, that she is one of my heroes.  She was not who inspired me to want to work for the space program - I'm fairly certain I saw the space shuttle before she made history.

But I have some faint childhood memories of telling people that I wanted to be an astronaut, and some people saying that girls couldn't do that.  Even though the first female astronauts were selected in 1978, I guess they didn't register until Sally Ride flew in 1983.  That, that told people that yes women can.  THAT put a stop to THOSE comments, so thoroughly that I can barely remember them.  And for that, I am profoundly grateful.

I want this blog to be inspirational, to be a positive thing.  But the truth is, traditions can be deeply rooted and hard to change.  Our SWE section in Houston decided to invite high school girls who were interested in STEM fields to a holiday party with college engineering majors and professional women.  One school system, the guidance counselor told the woman calling, "Oh, none of our girls are interested in that."  As if they didn't need to ask.  Because they just assumed that no girls would want to do that sort of thing.

Which always makes me wonder, how many opportunities did I simply miss, in elementary school or so, because the adults around me just assumed I wouldn't be interested?

Attachment parenting

As I wrote last time, May was a VERY busy month for us, and it looks like I'll be busy much of the summer.  I don't have any intention of stopping blogging, but updates may not be 2-3 times a week the way I had intended.

Attachment parenting has been in the news recently, in part due to the provocative (or inflammatory) Time Magazine article the week of Mother's Day.  As someone who tries to practice attachment parenting, I find that I have a lot to say about this article.

The trouble began with the cover photo and headline.  Other critiques have pointed out that the very pose is unnatural, nothing like what breastfeeding a toddler is like.  I know, because I breastfed my son until he was about 3.5, about the age of the boy on the cover.

October Anti-bullying

October is National Anti-Bullying Awareness Month.  I know the month is almost over, but I couldn't let it pass without writing about this.  I wrote a few posts on my old blog last year, as we were dealing with bullying at my son's preschool.  Can you believe it?  Bullying a 3-year-old?  I still can't.  Fortunately, the preschool recognized the problem, and worked to stop it.

On being a working parent.

At some point in this blog I like to talk about what it means to be a working parent. When we were expecting, my husband got into the Expectant Father series. I read them too, and was struck by how, with a stay-at-home-dad, I (Mom) felt the same pressures to work longer, earn more, make sure my family was taken care of.

I've always been career-oriented, and having a child hasn't changed that, much. I have to say that one of my biggest hopes, as a busy working parent, is to be like Charlie Brown's dad in this Father's Day strip.

Preschool Games

 I've been reading this book again:



One of the things I like about it is that it talks about child development, and about what skills the different games and activities we do as parents can help develop.  The book divides games into four large categories: Cognitive, Motor, Social, and Language.  Each large category has about 3 smaller categories, and each smaller category has 12 games.