Cautions for religious exploration

Twenty years ago, when I was first researching Wicca and the neo-pagan movement, it seemed as though every site had articles about how to find a teacher, and cautions about what to avoid in a group.

Somewhere between then and now, the conversations suggested that all the warnings were doing more harm than good. Most neo-pagan groups are doing well to "herd cats," they aren't attempting to forge a group-thinking cult.

However, I've read some articles recently regarding ISIS recruiting, that suggest a few cautions are in fact in order.

One of the classic neo-pagan resources was developed by Isaac Bonewits. He calls it the "Advanced Bonewits' Cult Danger Evaluation Form," or ABCDEF. Here's one link to the form, many copies exist on the interwebz.

Also on the more new-agey side of the house, there is a very old book, Chop Wood, Carry Water: A Guide to Finding Spiritual Fulfillment in Everyday Life. In particular, they quote Ram Dass' "How to Keep Perspective Along the Path," and Daniel Goleman's "Things to be Wary of when Shopping the Spiritual Supermarket."

Cult tactics often take a page from the same #AbuserDynamics, isolating people from their friends, discouraging them from talking with other people, asking you to keep secrets. Know the red flags of people who do not have your best interests at heart.

Gender roles (for Grown-Ups)

This is the third post in my series on Biblical Patriarchy. For previous posts on this topic, I'll refer you to the Introduction and Gender roles (for children), both of which define terms and clarify the particular splinter of Biblical patriarchy that I grew up under.

I want a number of links on this subject, which may take longer to locate. Therefore, I will probably intersperse this series with posts on other topics. I still plan to continue with the posts outlined in the Introduction.

Biblical Patriarchy Intro

I'd like to go back, first, to my experience with the UU church. UUs believe in the Beloved Community, and that by following the 7 Principles, by working to build a community that loves and respects each other, and treats people with dignity, we can create a bit of heaven here on Earth.

The family religion I grew up with had similar but different beliefs. As I understand my parents' teachings, they believed that "heaven on Earth" would come when everybody on this planet chose to live Biblically. (Exactly which Biblical lifestyle, was not necessarily as clear.)

My parents tried to teach us to live in the world, but not of the world.

With this series, I hope to raise awareness that Biblical Patriarchy includes a wide range of beliefs AND faith traditions

Parenting, Property, and Healthy Relationships

The article that inspired the previous two posts, had to do with a YouTube video, Dad forces son to destroy Xbox.

I've posted previously about power dynamics, and included links to resources about abusive vs. healthy relationships.

In the online discussion, some of the women argued that the Xbox was the father's personal property, and he could do whatever he wanted with it. To which my (and other women's) response was that the *father* could sell it, trade it, give it away - but smashing a working device is violence. And forcing his child to smash a beloved toy, is emotional abuse.

The women promoting doing anything they wanted with private property then suggested that if violence to objects was off-limits, then that could extend to policing what other people ate. That would be why I started this series with the concept of body autonomy, and some of the rights / limitations involved there.

When I first conceived of this post, I thought I'd then get into the concept of the patriarchy. My own father argued for the applicability of the ancient Roman pater familias.

But in the meantime, Dr. John Johnson (@astrojohnjohn on Twitter, I've also previously linked to his blog) made a comment that reminded me, intersectionality addresses not simply "the patriarchy," but the kyriarchy.

Aftermath & Recovery

In case you missed it, I added a note to yesterday's post. If the relevance of my experience is not readily apparent to those who wish to promote gender diversity in STEM, AAUW has a report, Crossing the Line: Sexual Harassment at School, which discusses statistics and similar experiences for 21st-Century adolescents.

I've expressed some of my discomfort with conventional White Feminism in previous posts. Some of that discomfort had to do with my originally-conservative religious leanings. Some of it had more to do with the economic and authoritarian / partriarchal background that I come from.

Ripples of Doubt

I have been writing about media, leadership, and culture, and the ways in which Gaslighting and similar  #AbuserDynamics are used to maintain power and control. Much of the recent conversation about Abuser Dynamics and their connection to 'isms, is owed to the black women and women of color who began that hashtag.

Yesterday's conversation with Astro/Physicists and Science Communicators brought up 2013's #RipplesofDoubt conversation (Storify by Karen James). Trigger warning for sexual harrassment in the post below.

While I read and re-Tweeted from the hashtag in 2013, I didn't share my own experiences. One of the reasons I didn't share my own experiences, is that my experiences in undergraduate and graduate education and my experiences with work have been TAMER than what I grew up with.

[2:36 pm Update] In case the relevance of my experience is not readily apparent to those who wish to promote gender diversity in STEM, AAUW has a report, Crossing the Line: Sexual Harassment at School, which discusses statistics and similar experiences for 21st-Century adolescents. [/Update]

I went into college knowing I wasn't physically attractive. Therein, lies the story.