Ripples of Doubt

I have been writing about media, leadership, and culture, and the ways in which Gaslighting and similar  #AbuserDynamics are used to maintain power and control. Much of the recent conversation about Abuser Dynamics and their connection to 'isms, is owed to the black women and women of color who began that hashtag.

Yesterday's conversation with Astro/Physicists and Science Communicators brought up 2013's #RipplesofDoubt conversation (Storify by Karen James). Trigger warning for sexual harrassment in the post below.

While I read and re-Tweeted from the hashtag in 2013, I didn't share my own experiences. One of the reasons I didn't share my own experiences, is that my experiences in undergraduate and graduate education and my experiences with work have been TAMER than what I grew up with.

[2:36 pm Update] In case the relevance of my experience is not readily apparent to those who wish to promote gender diversity in STEM, AAUW has a report, Crossing the Line: Sexual Harassment at School, which discusses statistics and similar experiences for 21st-Century adolescents. [/Update]

I went into college knowing I wasn't physically attractive. Therein, lies the story.

Words Beget Violence

‎Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them.

- Margaret Atwood

Trigger warnings apply to this post, for discussion of violence.

There are a number of topics that I prefer not to talk about. That I circle around, suggesting but not quite saying. Hashtag activism, the personal and political, promoting intercultural dialogue.

As an adult military child, I sometimes read articles about military families and military culture.

Let me begin, again, with a story, a story that leads to history:

I’m going to tell you a story about llamas. It will be like every other story you’ve ever heard about llamas: how they are covered in fine scales; how they eat their young if not raised properly; and how, at the end of their lives, they hurl themselves – lemming-like- over cliffs to drown in the surging sea. They are, at heart, sea creatures, birthed from the sea, married to it like the fishing people who make their livelihood there. [1]

It's from a critical piece by Kameron Hurley, "'We Have Always Fought': Challenging the 'Women, Cattle and Slaves' Narrative" about how we don't see the stories that don't fit our narrative. If every story we hear is about scaly llamas, then we forget about the actual hairy llamas that we have seen.

Inclusion, Innovation, and the Aerospace Industry

In 1968, for the first time ever, humans got an image of Earth from space:

The blue oceans. The swirling clouds. The continents without political borders. The thinness of the atmosphere.

The imagery may have influenced both the environmental movement and the movement for peace in this world: the concept of the global village, and efforts to move beyond tribalism. It is that tribalism, I think, that influences so many of the phobias we see today.

A month, really?

Has it been that long since I posted?  It's been an incredibly busy month.  On the rare occasions last month that I got to tuck my son in to bed, I told him that March was probably going to be my worst month for a while, but April would be better and May even better.

My concert was last weekend, and went very well.  While I love the chorus, practicing & performing the music, it is a large commitment.  It's nice to have finished this season and have a bit of a break.

The Annual Budget Drive celebrated our results today.  We are still hoping to hear from several more people, but the end is in sight.

My spring short class starts its final week tomorrow, it will be nice to wrap that up.

Still a busy week, though.  My engineering class has homework 3 due in the morning, and Midterm 3 on Friday.  Then all that will be left (besides continuing to watch lectures & read the textbook) will be a final exam in May.  I got my presentation done a week or so ago, and have my grade back from that.

Of course, my summer short class will start before my long class is over, so I won't have a break from school until June.  Still, my schedule is lightening up, and that helps.

Lots of other things going on.  This week, I found myself grateful for all the reading and I had done about bullying two years ago, trying to understand what was happening with my son.  Well, I also learned more about myself in that process.

As the schedule lightens up, I'll try to get more of a weekly schedule going here.  Monday Music, Technology Tuesday, Follow Friday.  Maybe even a Wordless Wednesday here & there.  One of my friends has been holding Discussion Wednesday on his Facebook page, and I may re-post some of my comments to this page.

Patience is a virtue: A follow-up on preschool bullying

Almost two years ago, the parent's newsletter at preschool had a note asking the parents to talk with their children about bullying, there had been a few problems at the school.  I write a little about the journey on my previous blog (here: book reviews and reference articles and here: Memoirs, Pretty, and about fighting back).

Interlude: Glee "On My Way" reaction post

Last week's episode of Glee was... intense.  Several dark storylines, and inspiring Regionals performances.

I tried writing a couple of "It gets better" posts on my old blog.  I'm not sure they're all that good.  Truthfully, I have experienced some AMAZING things in my life, at all stages.  Snapshots of some of the GOOD things that I will eventually talk about,  following the text.  There's just a little -- well, a lot -- of angst to get through first.

Gender Roles

I'm set up to start talking about college soon.  Definitely this month.  This week, though, I think I'll continue to talk about different things instead.

I got into Glee just last summer, which means that I've been processing 2.5 years of material in about 6-8 months, where most Gleeks have had that much time to think it over.  I'm beginning to think that those 1- 2- and 4-week hiatuses actually give people time to go back over the previous episodes and think about the implications.

I am... often... slow to declare my favorite shows and favorite characters in public.  With Star Trek: The Next Generation, it was Wesley Crusher.  Hey, I was a geeky teenage girl.  I've already said that my crushes were usually based on intelligence more than looks - though Wesley had both.  And maybe my father was just trying to protect his little girl... although how a fictional character could really be a threat to one's virtue, I do not know.  But my father made sure I know about every criticism his co-workers had.  How they wished the character would leave the show, one way or another.

What I learned was to keep my cards close to my chest.  That to talk about the things I liked the most, just brought on more criticism.  Perhaps they didn't mean to attack me by attacking the things I liked.  But neither did it encourage me to be myself.  So perhaps I am making a mistake one more time, when I talk about my favorite Glee character.

Look, I'm still around

As promised, here's some of the songs that help me to feel better.

Good teachers

I'm sorry I didn't get a post ready for Friday.  I was trying to decide what direction to go.  There were a lot of other things that happened from 7th grade through my sophomore year of high school, things I haven't described.  The summer between my sophomore and junior years, is really the pivotal moment.  That is when my world was shattered.

And I don't know how to write it.  I decided to finish the last two years of high school in this Giving Arts a Chance series, and then I can go on to other topics.  I have written the posts, and they will be posted.  But the order the facts are presented in, makes a huge difference in what the posts mean.

Hobbies and family support 3: Instruments

In part 2, I mentioned that my mother had taken a few piano lessons in college.  I'm not sure whether she ever took formal voice lessons, I would think I'd have heard if she had.  Mom & Dad actually had a guitar when we lived in Illinois.  I don't know what was wrong with it, but they put it out, cased, for trash pickup.  Mom said that the garbage collector did NOT put it in the back of the truck, it was placed in the passenger seat of the cab.

When I was in 4th grade, a band director (not our regular music teacher) brought in a variety of wind instruments for us to look at and try.  A classmate and I were looking over the woodwinds, both interested in the flute.  She tried the clarinet first, and couldn't get any sound out.  But I could.  She was able to get a note out of the flute, so the band director assumed I wouldn't.  I told my parents I wanted to play, either flute or clarinet. 

October Anti-bullying

October is National Anti-Bullying Awareness Month.  I know the month is almost over, but I couldn't let it pass without writing about this.  I wrote a few posts on my old blog last year, as we were dealing with bullying at my son's preschool.  Can you believe it?  Bullying a 3-year-old?  I still can't.  Fortunately, the preschool recognized the problem, and worked to stop it.