Showing posts with label death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label death. Show all posts

Friday, May 22, 2015

Death and Grief

This is, in part, an Agents of Shield reaction post to the Season 2 finale, "S.O.S. part 2." If you desire to be completely spoiler-free, you might wish to watch that first. That said, I don't intend to discuss Agents of Shield itself, it's more my own thoughts, influenced by the show, that build on my recent blogposts and other articles I've read and topics I want to write about.

It starts with a story that I read from Anthony de Mello, that comes from the Rabbinical tradition. There once was a woman who lost a family member. Perhaps her husband, perhaps her child, she lost someone she loved, and she wanted them back. She went to the Rabbi and asked him how she could bring her loved one back. The Rabbi told her she could weave a shroud for them, but she must obtain the thread from houses that had not known death. And so she knocked on every door in the village, but every house had known death.

"Tell me, and I’ll forget. Show me, and I may remember. But involve me, and I’ll understand." - Dr. Herb True, paraphrasing Xunzi

I've written a lot about grief in the past two years, particularly on Glee forums since the untimely passing of Cory Monteith. The popular 7 phases of grief (shock, anger, denial, bargaining, acceptance) do happen, but not in any particular order nor on a given timeframe. Every person grieves in their own way, and grief has it's own time.

One can reach acceptance of the death of a lost loved one, then later find that wound re-opened, a fresh wave or new layer of grief, years after the fact. Sometimes the renewed grief may be triggered by a date: their birthday, their death day, an important anniversary. Sometimes renewed grief is triggered by a scent, a sound, an experience. And sometimes renewed grief may be triggered by words on a page.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Rest in peace

Sorry that Monday's post didn't go up until Tuesday.  That was my second scheduling FAIL, I'll try not to let it happen again.

Sometimes it feels like everybody's dying.  One of the biggest factors in my move to Alabama was that my mother and grandmother were dying. I'm not quite ready to relate that story here, just yet. I'd like to write chronologically where I can.

Monday, January 30, 2012

Remembering

I want this blog to be inspirational, not depressing.  I didn't write this blog to be a downer, but somehow I managed to work most of my angst playlist into last week's posts.  To counter-balance it, I think I will post my playlist of pick-me-up songs soon, probably on Friday.

High school was hell.  Unfortunately, it was only round 1 of hell.  There were more rounds, later.  But the later rounds were also quite different.  I was no longer alone.  They say that when you hit rock bottom, the only place left to go is up.  I started college, I found my husband, and things started to look up.

I'm still here, I'm still trying.

And on Friday, for the second time, I submitted my application to be an astronaut.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Happy New Year!

Wishing you all the best, health and happiness for the new year!

I mentioned earlier this week that Glee has been something like "The Artist's Way" for me.  Of course, it's not Glee alone.  It's also the Huntsville Feminist Chorus that I sing with, and a book from my summer reading (Horning in: The Grown-Up's Guide to Making Music for Fun), and waking up and realizing that all the things I had been stressing over for the past 4-6 years are... no longer worries.  Well, our son will always be a concern, but he's also a blessing :)

I've been reflecting a lot these past few months.  The previous time I wrote fanfiction was about twenty years ago, in partnership with a high school friend.  Thankfully, that piece of writing is NOT posted to the internet to embarrass me now.  The manuscript is safely unread on a shelf in my living room.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Interlude: Resources for talking with small children about death

I spent the last weekend traveling to visit family, and attend an aunt's funeral.

Every family experiences a different pace of life and death. My side of the family was very fortunate, from what I can tell. Mamaw passed away in 1982, the first person that I truly mourned. Everyone else that I knew reasonably well, lived through the 1980's and 1990's. A few great-uncles passed on, but I only remember one or two visits with them.

Such a spate of "good luck" can't last forever. My son has attended three relatives' funerals already in his short life. He was not quite 2 when my grandmother passed away, and I don't think he knew her all that well. She tended to sleep a lot when we visited. A few months later my mom passed away. I think he's beginning to understand that loss. Today I'm going to mention some of the resources I've used to talk with my son about loss.