September 12, 2001

Last year, The Dance Company's recital theme was Heroes. The dances reflected all kinds of heroes, and even the Dads got in on it.

In the evening show, the Company dancers did two back-to-back pieces: September 11, 2001 and September 12, 2001, that were very affecting. I still haven't found the music for the first one, but the second was Coldplay, "Fix You."

The September 12 choreography, reflected how people came together, to look out for each other. When "how are you doing?" was a standard greeting, and people understood if we weren't always at our best and happiest all the time. That there are some things so awful, that even professionals cry.

A decade.

Finished watching Wednesday's lecture.  I had started it while my son was in an evening class, but the school got too loud and their wi-fi is slow, so I stopped it halfway through.

It's late enough that I don't really want to watch today's lecture, I'll take care of that tomorrow.

And I haven't blogged all week.  This is a week where a part of me feels like I *need* to blog, every year.  I (almost) always remember.  A part of me thinks we need to talk about these things in order to remember and learn the lessons they teach.  And another part of me wants to keep my thoughts and my journey to myself.  Because this week of remembrance is somewhat private, my own retreat to remember and recommit.

46 years ago last Sunday, my parents were in school, probably junior high.  But as a student at Purdue, I found both Gus Grissom's autobiography and his wife's book.  And on the occasions when I entered Grissom Hall, I'd mentally say hello to his ghost as I passed his photo.

Follow Friday - Wayne Hale's Blog

Here is another post in my Follow Friday series.  If you haven't noticed yet, I have a variety of diverse interests that I am trying to cycle through.  Today's post is targeted towards the Space Tweep and enthusiasts community.

For those of you who don't know, Wayne Hale is a retired Space Shuttle Flight Director.  He writes now about his memories on the shuttle program, and space leadership.  Recently he has begun to reflect on the Columbia accident, in recognition of the upcoming 10 year anniversary.

As a space enthusiast, I was profoundly affected by the space shuttle Challenger accident 26 years ago.  As I worked and studied towards becoming an engineer, I have read about and studied many failure investigation cases, in an attempt to absorb the lessons learned.  Much like parenthood, I don't expect to avoid mistakes.  I simply hope to avoid making the same mistakes again.

I had made my way into the NASA family by the time of the space shuttle Columbia accident.  It brought back everything... with one minor difference.  In Omaha, mourning the Challenger astronauts, I felt isolated and alone in my desire to keep the space shuttle program going.  I felt like I was the only one who believed we still had to explore space.  In Houston, I wasn't alone.

Living in Clear Lake, Texas... among people who knew the Columbia astronauts personally, who felt the same commitment to space exploration that I did... Walking through the hallway in Building 4 at 4 am each week, where the STS-107 "Welcome Home" decorations were replaced by memories of the crew... It brought everything back.  I lived in Taylor Lake Village.  Right down the block from a neighbor I don't ever remember meeting.

Before Columbia, when I initialed something, I usually used all three of my initials.  Yes, I did feel amazed when I finally realized that my married name gave me the intials "KSC."

After Columbia, I began to embrace just using two letters.  My way of remembering.

If you share my interests in human spaceflight, I encourage you to read what Wayne Hale writes.  Think about the program decisions he and others made.  Work to remember the lessons of the past.

Space connections

Some time ago, I mentioned how when I was growing up in Nebraska, the space program felt so far away, like I had not connections with is whatsoever.  I was in college by the time Clayton Anderson was selected as an astronaut, my understanding is that he's the first astronaut from Nebraska.


My classmates seemed to think that working for the space program was an impossible dream, "You have to be SMART to work for NASA!"  Sometimes it seemed like my parents agreed with that assessment.

(The truth is that intelligence is a big help, but superhuman Genius is not required.)

Remembering

I want this blog to be inspirational, not depressing.  I didn't write this blog to be a downer, but somehow I managed to work most of my angst playlist into last week's posts.  To counter-balance it, I think I will post my playlist of pick-me-up songs soon, probably on Friday.

High school was hell.  Unfortunately, it was only round 1 of hell.  There were more rounds, later.  But the later rounds were also quite different.  I was no longer alone.  They say that when you hit rock bottom, the only place left to go is up.  I started college, I found my husband, and things started to look up.

I'm still here, I'm still trying.

And on Friday, for the second time, I submitted my application to be an astronaut.